I woke groggy and sore like every morning. Shooting pain in my joints and the evil butterflies in my stomach made me almost decide not to do any mindfulness and to go back to sleep once the monsters went to school. Little Pea’s incessant waffling and the cat deciding to lie on my chest soon woke me up
LP: Are my eyes moving? *moves eyes from side to side*
Me (barely able to open my eyes): Yep
LP: If you rub your eyes, it wakes you up. I do it every morning. Rub your eyes
Me: I can’t the cat is sat on my chest
LP: She’s so cute with her bum in your face. What’s the weather going to be today?
Social media detox
After shaking the cat off, I gingerly reached for the phone my fingers are always swollen in the morning and this heatwave we are having isn’t helping. Then it struck me I have to ignore all my notifications, normally I would check my social media accounts, then the news and then the weather. Today I skipped straight to the weather. It felt weird like I’d forgotten to do something, then I felt anxious, but not in the same way as when I have to go out or be in a room full of people.
This was different. It was almost a craving, a need to know straight away what was going on in the world. Weather forecast discussed I still had my phone in my hands, I was wavering, tempted just to look at just one thing. How easy it would be to delay my practice and seek comfort in my old routine. I snapped my phone shut, took a few deep breaths to quell that uneasy feeling and put the phone to one side.
For my mindfulness practice to be effective I must be mindful of what I say and do. I have to notice my actions instead of unconsciously following routines that aren’t helpful to my health.
Why I use social media
What you have to understand is that because I hardly leave the house, or have visitors, my social interactions are through social media. Yes it’s a very one dimensional view of peoples lives and more often than not is filtered but it’s what I have and I cling to it.
Some interaction is better than none. It doesn’t take the place of real conversation, when I have one of those you can tell I’m starved of social interaction. I waffle as much as Little Pea until my fibro brain kicks in and I can’t form coherent sentences, my anxiety steps up and I become defeated again. At least with words and pictures I make sense.
The results after this Mindfulness session
That feeling hung around, when the monsters left I opened my tablet and all the notifications lit up. I ignored them and went straight mindfulness. 15 mins – my mind wandered, I brought it back. By the time I had finished I didn’t actually want to check my notifications. I felt calm, I had no plans today and the world could wait.
It lasted an hour. I am a work in progress.